EXCUSE ME??? by Kenzie O’Hara

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A fan of the well-known, commonsense TV celebrity, Judge Judy, I find myself in agreement with the majority of her ultimatums, but – – -.

Faced with a disgruntled autobiographical author seeking compensation for an unfulfilled contract, the judge commented, “Those who write autobiographies do so out of vanity.”

Merriam-Webster dictionary describes vanity as;

1: inflated pride in oneself or one’s appearance: conceit

2: something that is vain, empty, or valueless.

The adjudicator’s statement is one with which I take offense. In fact, I can’t shake the remark from my mind.

Engaged in serious discussion my intelligent daughter suggested, I write a book about my life, and I balked.

“Who is going to want to read about me, a non-celebrity, a nobody?”

“Mom, you’ve had a challenging journey, and others can benefit from witnessing your pain, decisions, and survival.”

“Do you think?”

“Yes.”

Three years later, a voice inside urged me to heed my child’s advice, and the arduous process of detailing my story began. After another grueling three years, A Good Little Girl hit online retailers.

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The paperback was not born from conceit.  To act like a showy peacock is not my style, and I refuse to believe my effort is empty or valueless.

My story arrived via overwhelming agony as re-visitations to dreadful, disgusting memories ripped at my soul, cast me to the floor in a sobbing heap. Not enough torment? Buried, terrible happenings popped to the surface and added to the burden.

A prior skeptic about people being able to bury past indiscretions, swipe them clean from their minds, I quickly discovered the truth, and understand, yes, it is possible. The opening scene of a program, and a horrific rape scenario executed by co-workers upon my unsuspecting being flashed to my consciousness, and the force and terror of the debauchery was upon me again.

How did I forget that? How could I?

Initially, the goal of my penning quest was to provide my children with insights, but my encouraging daughter’s words echoed.

“Mom, you’ve had a challenging journey, and others can benefit from witnessing your pain, decisions, and survival.”

ian-espinosa-311604Intent on creating positive from negative, I shared this at times embarrassing story in the spirit of helpfulness, and to give comfort to those who are in need of hope, to perhaps, keep them from plunging in the drowning pool of despair.

A quote and insight into my world. “Into each life, a little rain must fall, but in my case, must it always be a hailstorm?”

The road proved tough, yet, I am here on the other end of the spectrum, and amazingly with a heart intact and a smattering of wry humor.

A rather sad tale, but along the way, I held steadfast to the belief, change is inevitable, a new day will arrive, and this kept me afloat until at last, that glorious day appeared.

Written with honesty, difficult to admit truthfulness, not all is gloom and doom. A current of sweet comic relief flows between the ugliness.

Dear baby girl, you may be correct. Perhaps, this problematic life’s journey does have a purpose. 

As for you, my revered judge, not all autobiographies stem from one’s vanity. I offer mine as helping hand, a gesture of understanding and compassion for my fellow earth mates who find themselves in need.

Lessons live on these pages from poor parenting to messy adult relationships.  Grasp knowledge from the inadequacy described of non-caring parents.  Learn from the life-altering mistakes made by this once insecure, looking for love being.

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May A Good Little Girl act as a sign at the crossroads of Hope and Despair, leading victims and their families to choose the direction toward freedom and happiness.

No longer will this voice lay silent. Enough! The trials and tribulations suffered are now written/shouted for everyone to witness, and wisdom will arise from the ashes strewn on this once, always obeying female’s path.

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The publisher of Elevation Magazine heard of my book, and produced an eye-catching article on his pages.  I attempted to post some of the reviews of my book, but for the death of me, I can’t figure out how to do that, Internet challenged woman that I am, but you can read them on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and iUniverse.com.

 

13 comments

  1. I wonder how we can get this post in front of Judge Judy’s eyes. A) it’s wonderfully written (as always) and B) perhaps she would be inclined to issue a collective apology. OR am I being a dreamer!
    Maybe your daughter can make that happen! 😊

    Liked by 1 person

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