A rarity arrived in my email, a view on life that was quite hilarious. One that actually caused me to laugh out loud. How about that?
In my desire to share this preciously funny ditty, I began selecting names from my contact list. Click, click, click! The selection process continued until I reached a special name. Oh my! She’s gone, and I really should remove her from my list.
In the past year, I know of 6 dear women from our high school classes who have died. Hearing of each brought on melancholy, and the reality of where my own life falls on the spectrum. How did I come this far? How much longer will I be here?
Before one realizes, they are forced to face the seldom talked about and often depressing matter of death. Yes, not one of the most pleasant or openly discussed subjects.
Oblivious of life’s finality, young ones (you choose the ages), race ahead in abandon, reach for the stars and soar with gusto. Lucky little snots!
Adulthood drowns us in responsibility, leaving little time for anything but the demands of daily duties, jobs, homes, kids. Oh God, I’m so tired.
With children grown, grandchildren scurrying about, another realm emerges. A realization of time gone by. Dang! I’m getting old.
For many, health declines and battles are waged to regain a “normal” reality. Damn! I once was able to do this with no problem.
Aches, pains, and disabilities become our NEW reality. However, most often we carry on and are grateful for being on this tangible side, breathing. Though admittedly, it sometimes is a struggle. Geeze! Not another problem/illness, boo-boo. Thought we were to receive only as much as we can carry? Hey you up there! I’m telling you, “Enough!”
At this stage of the game, news of an acquaintance, long-ago classmate, colleague, and friends or loved ones dying, arrives at an alarming rate. I understand this is part of life, but, Oh no! Not someone else?
The face of mortality stares into ours, and demands our attention. There are no brakes to push. No arguments to make, and no power to take command. This is an aspect for which we have no control, and face it, humans LOVE to be in control.
Life isn’t a circle. It is a winding path of glorious highs and devastating lows, and the ride stops. Sometimes abruptly, at times at a coast. Yeah, full circle would mean that after I die, I’d come back again, and know it’s me. Plus, I’d retain all the wisdom I managed to gain on the first go around.
The most recent to pass was Judy, a lovely girl I knew of in high school, but we weren’t friends. In our mid-fifties we had the opportunity to re-acquaint. A few days later both of us wondered aloud, “Good grief! Why weren’t we buddies in high school?” Though far apart, from there on, the two of us “girls” kept in contact. Gee, I need to go see her.
Before actual plans developed for a trip to visit, I received word that sadly, this amazing being ceased to be. I still can’t believe it. Most every day since, thoughts of her float across my mind. Visions of her glowing, perfect face, mesmerizing eyes, and the best smile ever, make furrowed creases of sorrow turn upward into curves of a peculiar smile. Oh Judy, I’m so sorry we didn’t get together sooner, more often, and I hate that you’re gone! But, if it means anything, I see you.
Now, as a finger hovers over the delete contact button, my eyes weep, and my heart heaves in fury at the knowledge we are completely incapable to change what has occurred and that which is inevitable. Oh yes, life is too short! Indeed it is.
What will tomorrow bring? No one knows, and there are no time machines, magic wands, chemicals to change what has taken place. Perhaps, someone’s pointy digit will be deleting me from their list sending me off to never-never land, but if they do, I hope they think of me fondly.
P.S. The picture above is one of Judy’s handmade creations that I adored, and she gifted to me. In essence, this piece represents her spirit. Chin up, reach for what you desire, and sing. A truly beautiful and talented lady, she suffered with various maladies, but her inner strength pushed through and created brilliant, shining moments of love and art.
Love and miss you friend!